Common university dilemmas.

In university, I’ve been confronted with many new choices, and seeing as my acceptance to UTM also qualifies me as an expert in life, I’m about to tell you what the right decision is in the following situations:

1.   Should I check Portal to see if my grade is up? I wrote my midterm and I’m anxious to see my grade! Did I do well? It’s already been 5 days, and we’re supposed get it back in Tutorial, so it should be posted by now. Right? RIGHT?! It won’t take me long to turn on my laptop and check!

Correct answer: No. Don’t check. You just checked half an hour ago, and nothing’s changed honey. Besides, when the marks ARE posted, all your friends are going to text asking you how you did, so THEN you’ll know to check. This way, you can avoid going on Facebook and YouTube for the half an hour you should be studying. STOP procrastinating lazy!

2.  In the parking lot, should I try to get a spot near the school or further away from the school? It’s already eleven, which means that all spots near the school have been taken. But I might have a lucky break and find the perfect parking spot. On the other hand, I’m already running late, so if I don’t find a spot, I’ll waste a lot of time and end up parking far away anyways.

Correct answer: Flip a coin. Yeah, that’s my great advice… Half the time you’ll find a spot and half the time you won’t, so channel your inner psychic-guru and make a lucky guess.

3.   Should I go to class or should I stay at home: I only have two hours of lecture today. I can get the notes off of a friend, and I’ve done the reading. Getting to school means spending an extra hour in the morning showering, getting ready etc. AND, no one takes attendance! If I stay home I can use the time to study!

Correct answer: NO. Always no. Realistically, if you stay home, you won’t study, you’ll sleep. And readings don’t teach you the material. They prepare you to be taught the material. So go to class lazy!

4.   Should I take a jacket or should I leave it at home? It’s chilly outside but I can turn on the heater in the car, and I only have to run between classes a couple of times. Plus, I look like such a dork all bundled up in a hat and scarf and jacket.

Correct answer: YES! Take the jacket! You might look dumb carrying it around when it’s warm, but that beats shivering through lecture when the lecture hall is unexpectedly under-heated that day. So take a jacket lazy!



Take my advice at your own risk. I am a tired teenager who has just spent her entire weekend doing math, reading, not having fun, and eating too much leftover Halloween chocolate. It’s 1 in the morning, and thus my guidance is at best questionable. I take no responsibility for any consequences you may encounter if you follow my advice. Good Luck! 

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