So it’s here once again, a day dedicated entirely to Love.
It seems to be culturally acceptable for those of us who aren’t romantically involved to mope about how lonely and depressed we are. But as tempting as consuming a full tub of ice-cream and re-watching The Notebook sounds, I’ve come up with 10 better alternatives for your “single” Valentine’s Day. Have fun!
1) Adopt 10 cats. They’re lonely at the shelter, you’re lonely at home, and so, might as well begin your career as a cat lady a little bit early.
2) Make your future significant other a bracelet out of your hair. Although you haven’t met him or her yet, when you do meet them, imagine how much they’ll like their late Valentine’s Day present!
3) Prepare for the apocalypse. You know, get a kit ready. You never know when that day will come. When it does, you’ll be ready in your bunker with canned food enough for 2 years. Make sure you also get a lot of cat food for your 10 cats.
4) Learn how to play the nose flute. If you don’t have a nose flute lying around, you can also spend Valentine’s Day learning to make one using instructional YouTube videos.
5) Reorganize your room. Push your bed and desk and shelves around. Then move them back when you realize you liked them the way they was before. Great workout!
6) Dress up as cupid and go around shooting people with suction cup arrows. If you get bored of this halfway through the day, you can put on a wig and pretend to be Katniss Everdeen in the Hunger Games. If you’ve already done #3 (preparing for the apocalypse,) you can use your bunker and canned foods for survival in the arena.
7) Put on some red lipstick and make out with a One Direction/ Justin Bieber/ whatever-floats-your-boat poster. You’ll end up with an incredible piece of modern art.
8) Build an igloo
9) Learn to yodel
10) Get a head start on some of the work you’ll be doing over reading week….Nah I’m just kidding. Don’t do that.