Killing Chivalry

We’ve all heard the saying, “Chivalry is dead.”

I’m not sure if this is true, but if chivalry is still even the tiniest bit alive…

I think I might be killing it.

If you’ve been to my blog before, you may have noticed that gender issues strike a chord in my heart. And lately, the concept of chivalry has been on my mind.

Below is a chart summarizing what goes through my mind when a guy does something chivalrous.

What a guy does:

What one part of me thinks:

What the other part of me thinks:

He holds a door open.

Aww that’s so kind! He’s thinking of me.

Good lord… Does he think I can’t open a door?

He gives me his jacket.

Woah how sweet! I’m always cold and this jacket is keeping me warm. And look at his arms! Oh man…..

Snap out of it Hanna. You should have remembered to bring your own sweater. And now he’s cold so this is idiotic.

He offers his hand when going up a hill.

He must think I’m dainty and fragile. That’s nice. He wants to make sure I’m okay.

I have legs just as good as his. What did he think I did to get up a hill before he came around? Did he think I climbed on all fours? C’mon…

He pays the bill.

He must really value my company.

I make as much money as he does. How does this make sense? What does he expect in return? GOD I HATE when people pay for me!

This mental mess happens in my mind every time a guy acts chivalrous. And usually, it shows in how I behave. At best, I’ve acted awkward and said, “Thanks” without really meaning it. At worst, I’ve flat out said something like, “No… I can walk without your arm, thanks.”

Now see… The problem with this is… Despite feeling like this about chivalry, if a guy doesn’t open a door for me, a little alarm goes off and I think, “It would have been nice for him to hold the door…”

And so my brain is a giant contradictory mess that makes absolutely zero sense and isn’t pleased by anyone or anything. Which is why I felt like discussing it in a blog post.

And so, in conclusion, there is absolutely no conclusion to this discussion.

I only have one observation:

Chivalry is usually present at the start of a relationship and tapers off once two people get comfortable with each other.

Yet, I think I would have a better time accepting chivalry from someone I’ve known for a long time. That way I know they are doing it not to impress me, but because they genuinely care about me and my comfort.

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