Who are you?
Yes, you! The person who is reading this blog.
Who are you?
The statistics I have about you are very vague. They don’t tell me much. Basically all I know is where you’re from.
You may be my one reader from Indonesia. Or you may be my one reader from the Netherlands. You may be one of my Canadian readers. Maybe you’re someone I know in real life. Perhaps I’ve met you and we’re friends or coworkers.
If you’re from some country other than Canada…
You’re easy. YOU don’t scare me that much. Chances are, you haven’t visualized me as a living, real, complex girl who goes to school, and brushes her teeth, and stares at her phone when she’s waiting for a call, and eats lucky charms for breakfast. And so, I can lay my whole life out for you and not be afraid that you will judge me.
If you’re a person that I have met… YOU scare me. I’m not particularly sure why I’ve told you about this blog. Trust me, I haven’t told many people I know.
You’re not easy. The fact that you know me as a real person makes me hesitate every time I post anything on this blog. I think… Will you see me differently? Am I saying something silly? Will you think I’m depressed, or confused, or just plain weird? Will there be a point where I say something that you try talk to me about it?
Ever since I’ve started writing this blog, I noticed that I’ve stopped journaling. In short, this blog has replaced my diary. It’s concerning that people I actually know get to read this. You see, this blog is entirely honest, and that scares me. Although I can’t ask you to be honest with me (you’re the reader after all), I would still like to get this sentiment across:
I thank you and beseech you at the same time.
I thank you for reading, but I ask that you don’t read too far into my words.
I thank you for being interested but I ask that you show similar interest in someone who doesn’t spell out their every thought for you.
Mostly, I thank you for validating my thoughts, but I implore, beg, plead on my knees that you tell me who you are.
But that last request isn’t fair of me. So never mind.