At long last. We’re all back together. I’ve mentioned my close group of high school friends before. At lunch, instead of talking about boys or celebrities we talked about the ethics of abortion and the flaws of today’s aviation laws.
And yet… When we got together over the holidays… brains fried from being overworked throughout the whole semester, our conversations were less than impressive. Utterly hilarious though! Here is a selection of things my friends said during our sleepover, presented with minimal context for maximal effect.
There are more nipples in the world than people.
I has made you beautiful… (Emma says after sticking a bobby pin deep within my tangled bedhead hair, where you can’t see it at all.)
Yeess… Zee mustache brings all the boiz to the yard. Also your displaced unibrow. (Erika has a theory that the scar on my forehead came about when I surgically removed my unibrow and then got a facelift.)
You kissed my eye.
Please stop touching my buttcrack.
You smell like Julia (Says Emma to Julia).
Hi im gabba thuuuuu. (One of my friends writes in my quote list when I leave my phone unattended.)
Can you have a singular goosebump?
My face isn’t very soft right now because I eat chocolate for meals.
The huns are coming! (Erika texts most of my contact list.)
Also my friends left these two selfies on my phone: (the latter one as my background and screensaver.)